4 Inspired Practices for Self-Love and Heart Healing
With a lack of self-love at the root of so much suffering in relationships of all kinds, it begs the question: how do you actually practice loving yourself in a way that is truly nourishing and not narcissistic? How do you practice setting and maintaining healthy boundaries with others in a way that is still compassionate with those you care about?
For a long time, I felt that the very idea or concept of loving yourself was inherently selfish. I didn’t understand what boundaries were, and didn’t feel that I could be a good person if I had them. I felt that the only way to be loved by others was to be like a doormat for them, always open and available, without ever having personal needs. I was able to feel compassionate, but only towards others, and never extended that love to my own self for fear of being seen as selfish.
I deeply studied the universal spirituality of Vedanta, along with Ayurveda, the world’s oldest healing system, and Yoga, its sister science, for 13 years. In that process, I discovered that, in order to treat others the way I wish to be treated, I needed to learn how to finally love my own self. This was the key to free myself from years of being in relationships with narcissistic people who take advantage of me due to my own belief that it wasn’t okay for me have any needs.
In the ancient Indian goddess tradition, there is an avatar of the warrior mother Goddess Durga, Kushmanda, who represents the healing power of love. She is believed to live within your heart, and to help open you up to all that is radiant within you, and make you more compassionate towards others.
Experiencing genuine self-love is a gateway to greater connection with the oneness we all share.
Research from APA Handbooks in Psychology published by the American Psychological Association in 2013 revealed evidence for the role that self-compassion plays in helping you to grow spiritually in their positive psychology interventions.
Here are some inspired practices that have helped me heal my heart. I encourage you to try them to start to free your own heart with the power of self-love.
1. Touch your hands to your heart and silently affirm “I love myself, no matter what.”
This is a powerful practice to heal your heart, check in with yourself emotionally, and give yourself reassurance that you will always be present for yourself. This self-love mantra is very therapeutic, especially for anyone who has experienced abandonment and/or betrayal.
2. Heal your heart by connecting with roses.
In Ayurveda, roses are considered heart-healing substances that uplift you physically and emotionally. Stopping to smell roses via actual scented roses and/or rose scented essential oils helps you feel more grounded.
You can also infuse beautifully scented rose petals into a warm bath to take in the radiant qualities of roses through your skin. You can even consume pesticide-free rose petals by blending them with figs to make a paste that you can boil with almond milk and drink while warm.
3. Sing uplifting songs (or chant inspiring mantras) aloud.
Singing is a satisfying way to heal your heart of any lingering sadness. Chanting mantras also connects you with the healing power of self-love, by nourishing yourself with uplifting, inspiring phrases that ground you in what is eternal.
4. Write a letter pouring out your feelings to someone you love who let you down.
It is very healing to express all of your emotions on paper. We often unconsciously store unprocessed sadness and pain in our hearts. This blocks us from feeling the power of love that lives within us as our true nature. When you write a letter to someone who disappointed you, do so without the intention of giving it to that person. The idea is to fully express yourself without worrying about consequences of doing so.
Unlocking the power of self-love from your heart through all of your senses is a deeply nourishing way to liberate your soul from pain, connect with spiritual oneness, and become the most radiant version of yourself, from the inside-out.
About Ananta
Ananta Ripa Ajmera is a spiritual teacher, 10-time international award-winning, best-selling author of The Way of the Goddess, founder of SoulWisdom Press & PR, and co-founder of The Ancient Way, an organization offering Powerful Soul Liberation programs, rooted in Ayurveda, Yoga, and Vedanta's universal spirituality. She’s been featured in Forbes, Vogue, and Cosmopolitan. She’s taught at Endeavor, Stanford, and UNICEF.